As invariably happens with time, hours have ticked into days, into weeks, and into months, and now I find myself once more at the finish line of another year. And with the end of a year comes ‘should haves’, ‘would haves’, ‘could haves’ and ‘why did you do thats’, along with a range of other questions on the spectrum of self-indulgent introspection and regret.
I think it’s only human to get to the end of a year and feel a little sad. It’s not a terrible kind of sad, it’s much more of a gentle, reflective, melancholy feeling. (Although there have certainly been enough tragedies in 2016 to feel sad for).
In essence, I could have had the best year of my life and still feel a little heavy-hearted come December. And this year was far from my best. It was not a year of superlatives; (it was decidedly not my happiest, most accomplished or most rewarding), yet I am confident that 2016 has been a year of growth, enlightenment and – cliché alert – discovering myself.
I realise how narcissistic it must seem to make a list of my own achievements, but hell I’m going to do it anyway.
2016: the year that was
- Can feel the MS all down my right-hand side and haven’t turned into a crying wreck
- Found out I have new lesions on my brain and need to move on from Copaxone and haven’t turned into a crying wreck
- Ended a long-term relationship and didn’t turn into a crying wreck (for long)
- Received the highest possible grade on an international advertising accreditation
- Left my lovely job which was deep within my comfort zone for a bigger and scarier position
- Gave up gluten for 3 months and didn’t turn into a crazy person
- Gave up chocolate for 1 month and only turned into a slightly crazy person
- Joined a netball team and started yoga
- Was dubbed the ‘Monash Celebrity’ by one of my specialists who said the entire hospital knew about me and my health record
- Started a blog so that 1. If MS robs me of my memory (God forbid) I have some kind of record, and 2. To connect with others living a similar experience
- Finally and properly came to terms with the hand I’ve been dealt and am defiant that neither MS or my other health problems will dictate my life
- Learnt that I can survive and be totally happy and self-sufficient by myself
- Leant on my beautiful friends for sanity and been leant on in return
- Decided I am so much stronger and resilient than I have been giving myself credit for
- Made big and bold plans for my future despite and in spite of some hideous medical diagnoses
And my year looks even better in pictures…
Thank you to everyone who stands by me, it is you who are making me the person I am becoming.
I hope you all have a happy and safe New Year, and can reflect on a great 2017 in 12 months time.